Private Dancer
by shizutoya
Summary: Come one come all! See the risky paths, the daring adventures, the gorgeous beauties that wait for you. Don't forget the tragic love affair of Ludwig Beilschmidt and the dancer who stole his heart. But, is this really love? How he can be sure this was the same one who stole his heart on that day with his dance? Come witness the regret, the drama, the romance at Italia Circus!
1. Chapter 1

_It was the only way we could survive. Either go with that man, or die. We really had no other choice. _

They sat there, shivering. The rain poured down on them, chilling and killing them, soaking their already drenched clothes. How long has it been since their last meal? They huddled closer, trying to trap in any heat left in them. No one paid attention to them for there were too many like them. Who cared about some thirteen-year-old boys?

A passing car splattered cold watered down mud onto them. Taking the last of their heat away, they tried to huddle closer. Was this the end? Were they going to die like this? Who would even care? They didn't have any family anyway. Their own family abandoned them when they were young. Footsteps. He could hear them coming closer until they stopped right in front of them.

"My, it would be such a shame to let these beautiful faces just disappear." he heard a kind voice say. The man leaned closer to them, rubbing off some of the mud from his face.

"Why don't you join me? I can replace your family if you wish." He picked them up, heat seeping back into him.

With his body warming up, he could feel his eye lids growing heavier. Even if now wasn't the time, sleep sounded like the best thing right now.

"Don't worry, we'll take good care of you now…" he didn't catch the rest of his sentence. Sleep had taken over

* * *

"Feliciano! Where the hell are you?!" Lovino called out. No way in hell was he going to skip out on practice again. He passed by a few of the crew that he was usually around. They were packing up for the move; all of their supplies were either in large boxes or in their suit cases.

"Hey!" the jumped a bit then turned to look at him. The two were the ones who provided the live music for their acts. The man (Roderich if he remembered correctly) sighed.

"He should be helping with the move, but he ran off after a butterfly. He was saying something about them knowing where to find the sweetest flowers."

"Dammit! That doesn't help at all!" he stormed off. He should've known his idiot of a brother would do something like that.

He left the two and headed towards the big empty field that his brother liked to go to a lot.

"Feliciano Vargas! Get the hell out of hiding you bastard!" he yelled out again. As he went back to the other's he saw the other bastard with a guy with white hair. They seemed to be deep in conversation. White (The name he decided for the white haired man) turned and waved goodbye.

"Thank you! We'll set up soon!" Was he another customer?

"Hey tomato lover, who was that just now?" Lovino yells at him, still a bit far. He turns, smiling like he always does. It pissed Lovino off that he had a constant smile, even when Lovino was being purposely rude.

"Lovi, have you forgotten my name? It's Antonio. You should at least show some respect to the one who saved you." He pouted playfully. Oh yes, Feli was going to die once he found him. He hated it when Tomato Lover flirted with him.

"Shut up! That was six years ago and that was your dad not you, you big idiot!" he shouted and ran off.

Feliciano was probably in town again. Damn him for being such an air head. He should've known better than to wander around by himself. Suddenly he ran into someone. Lovino landed on the ground.

"Ouch! What the hell you idiot! Watch where you're going you bastard!" he yelled rubbing his sore back. The man was no other than White.

"Oh sorry. Guess you fell victim to my awesomeness!" he started laughing like crazy. Dammit, why did he always get stuck with the crazies?

"Whatever, I don't have time to deal with you. I need to find my brother." That caught White's attention.

"Brother…? Crap, I forgot West's package. He is going to kill me if I don't get it." He ran off as soon as he said that. Yep, he was definitely crazy.

He shook his head, he need to focus on finding Feliciano before the big day. The needed to practice the new routine Francis had made for them. (Even if he was a huge pervert he still had the greatest ideas for dazzling the audience.) They were dancers after all, and they lived to please their audience. No matter who was their audience. That was just who they were.


	2. Chapter 2

"West I'm home!" Gilbert yelled from the doorway. God, why couldn't he just shut that big mouth of his?

"Welcome home." Ludwig replied as he flipped through a book.

"What's wrong?" Come on you're going to be twenty soon! Cheer up for crying out loud!" Gilbert said as he pinched his cheeks. He smacked his hands away and rubbed his cheeks.

"Stop treating me like a child. Did you get my package like I asked you to?"

"Yep! I got it so quick I even reserved you a circus," he paused for a moment and turned pale, (Well paler than usual for him) "Did I just say that out loud?" he asked as he avoided his glare. Ludwig stared at him, crossing his arms like an enraged mother.

"Brother, would you please like to enlighten me as to what the hell you did while unsupervised?" he said in a stern voice. Gilbert laughed as he slowly backed away from him.

"W-why don't we talk about this?" he suggested as Ludwig cracked his knuckles, and he let out a not-so-awesome shriek. (Gil's own words.)

* * *

Damn Gil for being such an idiot. He specifically told him not do something dumb this year. Last year it was a petting zoo, the year before that it was a trip to the amusement park. (Though he did have some fun there) After leaving the estate he went to vent in the town. They lived in an older part on Germany, but he didn't really mind. In fact he actually enjoyed the countryside and all its beauty. The city was old, but some parts of it was undergoing some changes. Still he liked how it still held a cultural feel to it. Just seeing this made him feel better. He sighed and turned the corner, running into two small children. He just happened to bump into the girl.

"Oh, excuse me." He said helping her up.

"No, it was our fault for-Ouch!" She started and he noticed a scrape on her knee.

"Sis are you okay?" the boy (her brother maybe?) asked as he rushed to her side.

"Yeah it just hurts, that's all. I'm okay really." The boy didn't listen and wrapped his arm around her, helping to balance her on her one good leg as she held onto him.

The small act reminded him of when Gilbert used to get into lots of trouble when they were younger. He went over and picked the girl up, being careful not to hurt her knee.

"M-mister?" she squeaked.

"This is partially my fault, so let me help." They both smiled at him and nodded.

"Thank you very much!" they said in unison.

"So, where were you two headed in such a hurry?" he asked as the boy lead the way.

"To see Big Brother!" the girl replied with a big smile, "He is very nice, he just came yesterday with some of his friends. He is also teaching us how to dance!"

"Oh? He sounds like a really nice person."

"He is. Hey you should come with us!" the boy offered.

"Sure, if you don't mind it." He smiles.

* * *

After some very confusing directions, they finally made it to a small flower meadow. As the stepped from the shade of the buildings, he was briefly blinded by the sun. As the spots in his vision started to fade he caught a glimpse of a spinning red haired angel. He was singing and dancing with other small children, as if he was protecting them with a spell.

The setting sun caught in his hair, which was decorated in several different kinds flowers. His smile made his heart skip a beat. A passing wind blew the flowers from the field, surrounding him in a flurry of colors. His smooth angelic dance only enhanced his beauty.

"Big Brother!" The girl is his arms called out. _That's right Ludwig, he is a GUY. Stop day dreaming! _

The red head turned to them and smiled, waving at the two. He ran to them, the other children stayed behind as they started to play a game of tag. He could feel his cheeks getter hotter. What the hell?! Why was he getting all hot and bothered by another guy?!

"Jemmy! Willis! I was starting to get worried that you two got lost!" he smiled as he looked up at him.

"Thank you for bringing them here. Sorry for all the trouble." He apologized.

"N-no…it's fine. I was the one was made her scrape her knee after all." He blushed. What the hell was he blushing for?!

The red head looked at him and suddenly leaned in giving him a small kiss on the cheek. He was so glad the sun was covering how red he was at that moment.

"W-w-what was that?!" he voice almost cracked. He smiled and chuckled a bit.

"It was a thank you kiss, you helped them out. You have a very kind heart. I can see it clearly." He took a flower from his fiery red hair and placed it in his blonde hair. He then lifted the girl from his arms and carried her himself.

"Let's say goodbye to the Kind Mister now you two." He said smiling.

Somehow, those words cut something deep within him. It was an indescribable pain. Who knew words could hurt so much.

"Bye bye Kind Mister!" they waved happily to him. He waved back, not knowing what else to do.

As they started to leave, the red head turned back and mouthed something to him. His smile somehow looked sad as he turned away and continued to walk, the children happily walking beside him. Those words would never leave him.

-Let us meet again-

**Thank you for reading! I know I post lots of stories and don't really post a lot of chapters to them, but recently I've been changing how i write my stories (When I'm planning them) so i should be able to finish this story. Already have some rough drafts for the next three chapters. I'll keep doing my best to keep up. School can sometimes be to much. Also please let me know what you think about a Germancest one-shot. ~ShizuToya**


	3. Chapter 3

He walked home in a daze. The flower in his hand was a small daisy. He twirled it in between his fingers, a small smile showing on his face.

"God West, what the hell happened to you? Gilbert asked as he shivered.

"Shut up." He hid the flower and straightened himself.

"Oh? Is my brother blushing? Gasp, is it a girl?" he asked playfully as Ludwig rolled his eyes.

"No it's not."

"Oh yeah, I forgot my brother isn't into chicks. So…a boy?" Ludwig's face turned red.

"N-no, there was just a kind little girl who I ran into."

"Lolicon?" Gilbert's head tilted like a dog's.

"Brother just stop!" he said as he retreated to his room.

Damnit was he falling for the red head? He just met him; he doesn't even know his name. He heard shouting coming from the yard. He went to his window and peered out. That's when he came face to face with his red haired angel.

~Line~

"Damn you Feliciano!" Lovino charged at him.

"F-fratello! Please! I can explain!" he said running the other way.

They were at their new site for the circus, the Beilschmidt estate. Apparently Antonio knows one of the brothers that lives here and got permission to have the circus on their grounds. Thank god they had such a spacious yard or else Lovino would've caught him already. Maybe he could hide somewhere for a while. He took a sharp turn and saw a window that was open. He took the chance and leaped through it, only to land on top of someone.

"Oh! I am so sorry!" he said flailing his arms as he tried to get up, only to fall back down again.

"No, it's alright. I seem to be running into people a lot today." _Wait that voice. _He looked up and saw the man who brought Jemmy and Willis to the field. The man seemed to recognize him, too.

"You're the guy…the kind mister…Wait! Don't tell me you're the one who let the circus come here!" he asked frantically. The man sighed and got up, helping him, too.

"Nein that was my idiot of a brother. He thought it would be hilarious for my 20th birthday."

"Oh…" _I wonder who his brother is. Is he the one Antonio knows? _

Just as the thought passed another man slammed the door open. He looked very different from the first man. For one he had white hair. (The other was blonde)

"WEST! I heard a VERY loud thud downstairs! What the hell-" he paused and looked at Feliciano, "happened here…"

He stood there a moment and stared at him, his mouth slightly open. Then he cleared his throat.

"Well little brother, I'll just let you continue what you were doing. Have fun!" he said as he ran out the room, just as the blonde one threw a book at him.

"GIL IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" he yelled, a slight blush bloomed across his face. He chuckled a bit, only to hear Lovino's voice shout outside; and it was growing closer.

"_Feliciano Vargas!" _ He heard Lovino yelled at him in Italian.

He shot up and darted out of the room. He had to escape before Lovino started curing at him again.

~Line~

Just as quick as he came, the little red head left as soon as someone came in through the window.

"Damnit! You're not getting away you bastard!" a person who looked exactly like the red head yelled as he climbed through the window and followed out the same way. Chasing him like a rabid dog.

After the two left, their voices a mere echo now, Ludwig and Gilbert were left in silence.

"Well then! I'm going to see how the circus is going." Gilbert announced as he headed out the door.

"Yeah…" Ludwig mumbled; mainly to himself.

He could still feel his heart racing from being so close to him. He still had petals entwined into his messy red hair, which actually turned out to be a reddish brown color. His eyes were so full of life, the honey color; it was almost like the middle of a daisy. His smooth skin, almost like a girl's was a fair shade of gold. _Damnit Ludwig! Get a hold of yourself! _He scolded himself as he got up and also went to check on the circus.

As he walked out the door he heard children laughing and the soft sound of an organ. The sweet melody was calling to him. Almost as if an unknown magic was pulling him in, he followed it willingly. As he walked closer, he felt a small hand grasp his. He looked down and saw Jemmy, the girl from before, smiling up at him.

"Mister are you going to the circus, too?" she asked. He smiled back and nodded.

"Huh? Oh no, I was just a little curious. That's all." He saw her frown and thought for a moment, "Unless, you want me to come with you?" She smiled instantly and started to pull him to the tent.

"Yay! Willis couldn't come so I have an extra ticket!" she held two small tickets, both a pale blue color and lined gold.

They entered, hand in hand, and found some seats in between an elderly couple and some teenage boys. The lights suddenly turned off, a man popping out from the darkness with only a single light shining down on him. He smiled, causing many women to swoon.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls! Welcome, to Italia Circus!"


	4. Chapter 4

"Welcome! To Italia Circus!" he announced. Music started to play and it was very angelic. Out from the dark two trapezes came into view as they stood way above the crowd. They waved and he saw a glint of light come from their masks. They held long batons in their hands; he couldn't really see them with their big cloaks though. He turned to Jemmy who was watching with an awing smiling. He smiled along with her.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome our first act for tonight. The one, the only, Mirror Twins!" The crowd applauded as the twins jumped down, doing a series of graceful flips before landing in a net.

As they jumped down from the net, they threw of their cloaks. As they slowly fluttered to the ground, he saw two patches of red hair. They were the two that barged into the house earlier! As he watched them dance, he noticed that they held their audience in a trap. Their movements fit perfectly with each other, as if they understood each other exactly. He even admitted to himself that one of them specifically held him their personal captive. He was falling even deeper for his red haired angel.

~Line~

After the show, Jemmy left. She said something about finding big brother to congratulate him. Maybe he should see him too.

He walked to the small tents beside the much larger one. Maybe he'd find his angel there. In the distance he heard splashing sounds. Though they were faint, he couldn't stop the eerie feeling he had. He followed the sound until her found himself walking through a small wooded area. He continued to follow the sounds, which led him to a small pond. The pond was pretty far from the circus, so there weren't any lights. The moonlight shined down perfectly on the water, and as he peered across the surface he found him. The moonlight made his skin glow, the droplets in his hair sparkled. Not to mention his naked body was very exposed.

"Hey! Who's there!" he called out, making him flinch. _Crap. _He walked out from the cover of the trees and approached him carefully.

"Um…sorry. I didn't mean to spy on you…I was just umm, passing by." He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks.

The red head looked at him, sighing as he grabbed his clothes and slipped them on. He noticed that they were much different from the ones he had on during the show.

"Do you need something?' he asked, interrupting his thoughts. Startled he shook his head.

"Okay, well bye then." He said as he started to leave.

"Wait!" he said as he grabbed his hand, "Ever since I saw you dance, I haven't been able to get you out of my head." He confessed. The red head stared at him with a blank expression.

~line~

After the show Feliciano went to change right away. He knew Jemmy was coming tonight to play for a bit. (Plus he promised her mom to bring her home after the show.)

"Hey airhead! If you're going with your little _girlfriend _at least take a bath or something." Lovino said stuffing a towel in his face. He took it off and smiled at his brother.

"That sounds like a good idea, thanks!" he said as he followed him to the bathing pond.

As they walked they heard a loud shriek. They turned to each other and bolted towards the sound. When they arrived they saw Roderich lying on the floor and Elizabeta just putting on her last piece to her outfit.

"I'm sorry Roddy, but you really scared me there. Don't come out of now where when a lady is bathing." She picked him up and smiled at the two, "Sorry boys, we'll be going now."

They nodded as the watched her carry him all the way back.

"Well, let's just take put stupid bath and get this over with." Lovino said as he got undressed. He also started to undress; he had to be quick so he could find Jemmy soon.

"Hey…Lovi? How can you tell if you love someone?" he asked. He stared into the open pond, which glistened in the moonlight making it look like a scene from a fairytale.

"Huh? What's with this question all of a sudden?"

"Just curious." They sat there a moment before Lovino replied.

"Well…there are all kinds of love. The love you have with your family, or-" he suddenly stopped as turned to a twig snap.

"Bro-hmph?!" Lovino clamped his hand over his mouth before he could speak.

"Shh! Listen, get put and hide. Someone is coming from the other side. I don't think they're part of the circus." He whispered into his ear. He nodded and got out quickly, but he couldn't leave his brother in danger. He decided to hide nearby, just in case something happened to him.

"Who's there!" he heard Lovino call out.

Rustling came from the bushes and the blonde Beilschmidt brother came into view. He sighed and started to leave. Lovino was going to leave too, if the brother hadn't suddenly grabbed his hand.

"Wait! I have to tell you this! You're all I think about ever since I saw you dance." Feliciano stopped instantly. _What did he just say?_

"Oh? Well then how about we see if our feeling are mutual?" Lovino suggested,

_No! Stop you can't have him! Wait..why do I even care? _What were these thoughts going through his head?

"Sure! How about tomorrow night?" the brother suggested. _No! Stop don't encourage him! _

He couldn't figure out why, but he wasn't okay with this. Usually he didn't care what his brother did. He couldn't understand why now. All he did know was that one thought was running through his head.

Why not me?


	5. Chapter 5

He walked back, leaving the two alone. He needed to find Jemmy anyway.

"Big Brother!" he hears someone call out. He is brought back to the present.

"Jemmy!" he smiles. She stops a moment and stared at him, her large blue eyes seeming to look deep into his soul.

"Big Brother…why are you crying?" she asks.

"Huh?" he touches his cheek and feels a small tear on his face. _Was I crying? Why? _

He smiles and pats her heard reassuringly.

"It's nothing something was just in my eye. C'mon we need to get you home!"

"Aw, but I wanted to play." She pouts. He chuckles a bit and lifts her onto his shoulders.

"Okay, you can be the princess and I can be your shining steed!" he starts to trout back to the city. She stops him by climbing down from his shoulders.

"No, you're the dancer!" she smiles at him.

"Of course, anything for you M'lady." He says dramatically as he bows down to her.

"Yay! Now let's go back to the castle!"

* * *

He knew the person Ludwig was talking about wasn't him. Yet he couldn't pass up a free meal. Maybe he would play along with this charade, at least until the circus would move to its next location.

"Lovino, are you listening to me?" Antonio asks, waving his hand in front of him.

"Yeah, yeah I heard you ya tomato loving bastard. Anyways I'm going out after tomorrow's show. Okay?"

Antonio stopped and gave him a look he couldn't describe. Was it pain? Jealousy? Anger?

"You have a date?" he asked, the air suddenly turning heavy.

"Yes, I do indeed have a date."

"Oh…well…have fun…" he turned and left without another word. This was strange, what happened to his usual overly happy self?

He went out to find Feli. He needed to make sure to tell him that their plans tomorrow would be canceled. He walked away from the big tents, passing many of his friends to see if they knew where his idiot-of-a-brother went. They all said the same thing; the flower meadow. Honestly could he find a better place?

As he approached the small meadow he saw Feli instantly; his reddish hair sticking out from all the green.

"Feli! C'mon, you're going to get dirty if you keep lying down in the grass like that!" he yelled to him. HE didn't move, not even a little. Lovino's heart stopped. _What if…_

"FELI!" he yelled as he raced over to him. He could feel his eyes burning against the wind, tears stinging his eyes.

He finally moved, rubbing his tired as he looked up with a small smile.

"What's wrong, fratello?" he asked. He just sat there for a moment, and then pulled him into a tight embrace. He dug his face deep into his shoulder, crying his heart out. Though he would never admit it…if Feli was gone…he wouldn't know what to do. He was the only family he had left…after that horrible accident…

He let go of Feliciano, wiping away the last of his tears and shyly looked away.

"L-let's not talk about this again…okay?" he said clearing his throat. Feli smiled.

"Anything for you, big brother."

* * *

He was so excited! Later today he would be going on a date with Lovino! He seemed like a nice guy, just a little rough around the edges. His younger brother looks just like him, hopefully he wouldn't confuse the two.

Still, something felt different from when they first met. Something…was off.

"West you're glowing. What happened to you? You're starting to scare me." Gilbert said as he fake gaged.

"I have a date, so I hope that answers your question." He said in a smug voice.

"Oh? My brother finally has a date? Why wasn't I told of this?" he asked.

"Because it isn't any of your business."

"Ah, that is where you are wrong dear brother. As your elder sibling it is my responsiblitity to know everything about your personal life. Being a guardian IS my second occupation after all." He said with pride. Ludwig's reply was a simple face palm.

"God, what are you my mother?"

* * *

He couldn't help but fell that Lovino was taking advantage of the blonde brother. He already knew that Lovi was in love with Antonio. It was very obvious from the way he acted around him. Not to mention how he talked in his sleep. He walked into their tent to find that he Lovino wasn't there. _Maybe Antonio might know where he is._ He thought to himself as he went to his tent. As he entered…he saw something…he really shouldn't have.

* * *

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating a lot. I just have to type the rest of the story. I finished the whole story, it's just a matter of me getting off my lazy butt and actually typing it up so you guys can enjoy it! Hope you're enjoying the story so far! I'm also trying to write another story...but having little success. Rayella-san told me to take things one at a time. (If, you don't know that is my YOUNGER sis) Well, until out next chaper update! **

**~ShizuToya**

**(P.S sorry for the short chapter)**


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm sorry!" he squeaked as he rushes out the tent. He could hear Lovino curse and Antonio laughing.

"Damnit Feliciano! Learn to knock!" Lovino yelled at him.

"Calm down, love. If you notice there is no door to knock on." Antonio smartly remarked.

He heard clothes rustling and assumed it was okay to go back in. He sighed when he saw that they were decent (at least more than before) and glared at Lovino. Feeling the atmosphere change, Antonio quickly caught on and gave Lovino a quick kiss(which made Lovi turn a deep red) before leaving.

"Lovi, you're with Antonio…so why are you fooling around with the Beilschmidt boy? Don't lead people on!" he said not realizing how protective he sounded.

"Oh shut it! Why do you even care?" he asked as he crossed his arms with a smug grin. He felt his face heat up.

"Because! It's not nice to play with someone's feelings. Taking advantage of people is not fair!"

"Let me have my fun, I mean we won't be here long anyway. We'll be gone in a matter of days." He shrugged and started to leave.

Feliciano grabbed his arm, causing him to jump a bit. Feliciano have never done something like this before.

"Lovino, promise me you'll tell him the truth." He pleaded. Lovino flinched.

"Don't make that face, you know I can't say no when you make that face." He sighed and jerked his hand away.

"Fine, I'll tell him the truth." Feliciano smiled and hugged his brother.

"Thank you."

Lovino walked away after promising to tell the Ludwig the truth, but he knew better than to trust that he would keep his word. Lovino had the tendency to lie to him…a lot. So before Lovi could go on his date, he slipped some sleeping drugs into his drink.

He just could trust him, knowing who he was. Antonio was nice enough to help him make up a story about the night when Lovino woke up. He was grateful that Antonio was so understanding…he was just the person to handle his short-tempered, bad mouth brother. He secretly wished them happiness.

As he got ready for the night, he couldn't help but notice how fast his heart was beating. Was he actually excited about this? No, he was just protecting him. _After all…he loves Lovino…not me…_

He had to make sure his cover wasn't blown either, or else Ludwig would know that he wasn't his brother. He would have to be extra careful and watch his words. As he looked in the mirror one last time, he heard Antonio's voice.

"Ah, Ludwig! So good to see you again. Lovino is waiting for you in his tent, at least I think he is." He said.

"Thank you." His deep voice sent a pleasant shiver down his spine.

"Stop it!" he hissed as he silently scolded himself for think that.

_Cut it out! You have to tell him the truth or else he would get hurt. _

He adjusted his suit one more time before going out to face the blonde man he knew was waiting for just for him.

~Line~

As he stepped out of his tent, he seemed to glow. His wild red hair slightly tamed, his skin a soft peach color, his honey brown eyes…he had fallen deep for this man. He had never seen anyone as beautiful as him before.

He could feel the butterflies in his stomach grow as the beauty before him came closer. Once in front of him, Lovino looked up and smiled causing him to blush a tiny bit. He cleared his throat and returned the smile. His smile looked so different from the one last night…it was more like the one…when they first met.

"Ciao!" Lovino said before clamping a hand over his mouth and turning rosy red. He laughed not knowing what happened.

"S-sorry, me Italian slips out sometimes…when I'm excited…" Lovino confessed. He smiled, liking how honest he was.

"It's fine," he said patting his head, "it's kinda cute." Lovino smiled shyly and took his hand.

"Well then, we better go before it gets too late!" he said going in front of him.

They walked like that for a while before Lovino turned to look at him.

"You have no idea where we're going, do you?" he asked

"Not a clue."

"Want me to lead then?"

Yes…" he laughed as he took the lead instead. He felt Lovino's hand tighten as he looked away, probably embarrassed from before.

How was he going to survive the night if his heart was already beating this fast?! He was practically killing him with that shy look on his face! This was going to be a long night of restraint for Ludwig.


	7. Chapter 7

After letting Ludwig lead, he took notice to how big and warm his hands were. They held his tiny hand in a tight hold, as if silently saying that he didn't want to let go. His heart was beating fasted with every step. When he thought he couldn't take it anymore they arrived at the restaurant Ludwig had chosen. They let go of each other's hands, he was left feeling strangely empty.

"Is something wrong?" he heard him ask. He looked up to find that his face was dangerously close. He blushed and turned away.

"N-not in particular…my nerves are just…" he heard Ludwig chuckle.

"Me, too." He confessed with a boyish smile that softened his muscular face.

As they sat down, there was a moment of silence before Ludwig spoke again.

"I heard you had a brother."

"Huh? Oh, yeah I do." He said a little caught off guard by the comment.

"His name is Feliciano, right? Can you tell me a little about him?" he asked.

_Talk about myself? How does Lovi see me? _

"Well, to be honest he is an airhead. He is always running off to random places, and he loves playing with the children."

"I said tell me about him, not you." He said jokingly.

"Really? I don't really like children." He saw Ludwig frown a bit.

"Of course you do, that's how we met."

_What was he talking about Lovino hates children? How could they have met because of them? _

Before he could think about it more, their food came. Before him was a great feast, and in the middle of it all was his most beloved dish; pasta. At that moment he forgot all about the plan. He spent the rest of the night enjoying himself Getting to know Ludwig and about his family, talking about the most strangest things…but it all felt natural. Never once was there an awkward silence between them.

Without them even knowing it, it had become rather late. As they walked back in a comfortable silence, their hand entwined with the other's, he leaned against Ludwig's broad shoulder. They approached the circus, which was dead silent and said their goodbyes.

"Well, it seems that this where our date will end." He said sadly.

"…See you later?" he asked. Ludwig smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Yeah, see you later."

He turned, but before he could leave Ludwig grabbed his arm and pulled him into a kiss. He never would have thought that his first kiss would be so passionate, and with another man. He could feel his hand gently hold the back of his head, the other around his waist. He could feel his hot breath caress his skin. He wrapped his arms around his neck, kissing him back. He was lost into the kiss.

There was a sudden twig snap. They both jumped and separated instantly. Ludwig wrapped his arms around him protectively. His could feel him breathing heavily, he felt the heat of the moment fade as they broke apart.

"Um…goodnight?" he said, not really knowing what to do.

"Y-yeah…" Ludwig mumbled, he saw a slight blush across his face. He smiled as he saw him nervously scratch the back of his head.

As he walked back to his tent, he could still feel his lips pressed against his. Warm, sweet…he wanted more. He wanted to see him again, to feel that warmth again. To be in his loving arms, to be held like that again...to be loved.

_But…you aren't the one he loves. You aren't Lovino._ He stopped instantly. That's right…he wasn't the one Ludwig loved. The one he loved…was cheating on him… Ludwig thinks…that he kissed Lovino. He would think all his life that he had shared a passionate kiss with Lovino Vargas. Not his sad little brother… The thought brought tears to his eyes.

Not just because of the kiss, but because of the pain, the suffering. He could never have Ludwig, because…his brother already did. He could never kiss him again, never be held in his arms, never be loved by him. That's when he realized.

"I'm in love…with Ludwig Beilschmidt…"


End file.
